Confessions...

My fever is not going down.

I am not allowed to sleep until it does.

Confessions: I hate hospitals! I hate doctors-no offence BUT YOU ALL FUCKING TREAT ME LIKE A LAB RAT! When I listen to queen I miss my sister and all I want to do is get on a Bus and take care of her, but I have to take care of my Papa he has bad kidneys too. I WANT TO BE NEAR THE PEOPLE I LOVE BUT I AM SICK AND NOT ALLOWED! I was Joe Perry to stop being a bitch and make nice with Steven Tyler! When I look into my eyes I see my brother in the blue green one. I am seeing more of my Papa’s face when I look in the mirror, I am FUCKING PROUD to be his girl! I need money to get tattooed! I am sick of putting on a fake smile and acting like everything is ok. A part of me wants to run away and go live in a cave away from people. I miss Ireland! I am jaded and broken and I OWN IT! I hate when people think I have RP accounts as myself talking to my self, I am not that big of a dork! Still waiting to turn into a monster. When I listen to The Killers I think of my niece. I love Edgar Wright’s work! I am loosing to much weight and when I look in the mirror I see myself when I had cancer! I want to stop trusting people, but I can’t unless they give me a reason not to. Does the whole in my heart go all the way to china? I want this fucking surgery done now! I hate being terminal even though I don’t let it stop me, I know it hurts people I won’t get better or die. I hate my father but I worry about him. I secretly wish I was weak enough to go back on drugs-but I am not that weak. I hate my ex…that is why I am not putting on a bullshit smile and talking to you twisted fuck-you want to be with me and you wife FUCK YOU! I miss my nan. I hope my mum is ok. I want Papa to hold me and tell me I will be ok.